For Northerners Moving South

[Rileysowner]

- If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

- Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.

- Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive

- Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

- Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

- Be advised that "He needed killin." is a valid defense here.

- If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

- If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

- Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

- In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

- If you do settle in the South and have children, don't think that they will be accepted as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, you wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

[wagonmaster]

Much if what he says is true. We still say Sir and Ma'm when speaking to those older than we are, and even sometimes when they're not. We still open doors for ladies, even if we're not sure..... and we still say excuse me when we accidently bump into you at the store. If you are knocked silly and pick yourself up off of the floor and we say "excuse me", it was a subtle warning about something you were doing....or maybe how you were saying/doing it!

[Rebel]

Much if what he says is true. We still say Sir and Ma'm when speaking to those older than we are, and even sometimes when they're not. We still open doors for ladies, even if we're not sure..... and we still say excuse me when we accidently bump into you at the store. If you are knocked silly and pick yourself up off of the floor and we say "excuse me", it was a subtle warning about something you were doing....or maybe how you were saying/doing it!

All true,,ya'll come go with us. Another saying and we do mean it but nobody ever comes. but we all know what it means,,a way of saying good bye.

[phr1$k37]

I had a good laugh and education. I like the cat one the best.

[kings-x59]

Well that warmed my heart. So many phrases I have set aside from my vocabulary in order to communicate with my fellow Americans around the union.
Here's a term from my childhood..."tumped", which means to turn over and empty out. As in "I tumped over my wagon and broke most the bottles I collected." Used to get 3 to 5 cents for 'em. There wasn't a glass soda bottle within walkin distance of my house when I was a kid.

[CaptSquid]

Guess I must be older than you. Alls i can remember is 2 & 3 cents deposit per bottle.

[peter]

Them there's good 'uns!

[GEJ]

Guess I must be older than you. Alls i can remember is 2 & 3 cents deposit per bottle.

Err,how about 0 for a deposit??.Does that make me real old?? .Guess so. But I don't want to be...

[Jim in Indy]

South of the Mason-Dixon Line, Grape Jelly..... Grape Jelly on darn near everything!!!!

[SafariRob]

More than thirty years ago I was in N. Carolina at a restaurant. I ordered shrimp, but the first thing that showed up was about a half dozen deep fried somethings. I told the waitress that I hadn't ordered them; she gave me a look and said that they were hush puppies and they came with the meal. Didn't taste like much, they were just deep fried corn meal, but I made sure that I ate them. Didn't want to further fire up the locals.
I got used to the fact that hush puppies showed up with about anything I ordered while in N Carolina, but a 'hush puppy' to me will always be a brand of shoe.

[CaptSquid]

The onliest reason them hush puppies didn't taste for much is they was from North Caroline, where they don't know what food is. Y'all gotta put some onions in them puppies and a little spice.

Now, hesh up, yankee, 'for we send some grits your way.

[skippy]

I rtemember going south for the first time , we stopped at some roadside ma & pa restaraunt in Virginia for breakfast . ordered some eggs bacon & coffee . got my plate & there was this pile of white crap on there that looked like dried up oatmeal !!!

that was my first time ever seeing or tasting grits !!!

[Rebel]

More than thirty years ago I was in N. Carolina at a restaurant. I ordered shrimp, but the first thing that showed up was about a half dozen deep fried somethings. I told the waitress that I hadn't ordered them; she gave me a look and said that they were hush puppies and they came with the meal. Didn't taste like much, they were just deep fried corn meal, but I made sure that I ate them. Didn't want to further fire up the locals.
I got used to the fact that hush puppies showed up with about anything I ordered while in N Carolina, but a 'hush puppy' to me will always be a brand of shoe.

funny stuff,,,Rob,,maybe next time you're over that way,,ask for Corn Dodgers instead. You might like them a little better.

[potskie]

The onliest reason them hush puppies didn't taste for much is they was from North Caroline, where they don't know what food is. Y'all gotta put some onions in them puppies and a little spice.

Now, hesh up, yankee, 'for we send some grits your way.

Send some grits and "canadian" bacon and poutine will promptly be in return..... Possibly even some Dulse

[Jim in Indy]

Now, hesh up, yankee, 'for we send some grits your way.

Grits, north of the Mason-Dixon Line, are commonly referred to as 'Bird Cage Gravel'.