Capt. Squid's Jokes
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CaptSquid
Topic author - I plan to be buried in my van
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
- Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
Eve's Side Of The Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It's all so beautiful, God," Eve replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights -- everything is so wonderful; but I have just on problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain," reported Eve.
Eve went on to tell God that, since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God. "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "except for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has a bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a minute, and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I hve overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now, let's see ... where did I put that useless boob?"
Now doesn't that make more sense than that crap about the rib?
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It's all so beautiful, God," Eve replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights -- everything is so wonderful; but I have just on problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain," reported Eve.
Eve went on to tell God that, since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God. "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "except for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has a bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a minute, and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I hve overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now, let's see ... where did I put that useless boob?"
Now doesn't that make more sense than that crap about the rib?
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
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CaptSquid
Topic author - I plan to be buried in my van
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
- Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
British Humor
A young Essex woman goes to the local council to register for child benefits.
"How many children?" asks the council worker.
"Ten," replies the Essex woman.
"Ten!", says the council worker. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne," says the Essex woman.
"Doesn't that get confusing?" asks the council worker.
"Naah," says the Essex woman. "It's great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout, 'WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY' or 'WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW' and they all do it."
"What if you want to speak to individually?" asks the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the young woman, "I just use their surnames."
A young Essex woman goes to the local council to register for child benefits.
"How many children?" asks the council worker.
"Ten," replies the Essex woman.
"Ten!", says the council worker. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne," says the Essex woman.
"Doesn't that get confusing?" asks the council worker.
"Naah," says the Essex woman. "It's great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout, 'WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY' or 'WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW' and they all do it."
"What if you want to speak to individually?" asks the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the young woman, "I just use their surnames."
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
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CaptSquid
Topic author - I plan to be buried in my van
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
- Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
Lion Taming
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a handsome older man in his mid-sixties, and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
"I'm not going to sugar coat it," the circus owner tells them. "This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history.
"Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The blonde says, "I'll go first."
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet, purring like a kitten.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. "I've never seen a display like that in my life," he says. He then turns to the older man and asks, "Can you top that?"
"No problem," replies the older man. "But first you'll have to get that lion out of the way."
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a handsome older man in his mid-sixties, and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
"I'm not going to sugar coat it," the circus owner tells them. "This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history.
"Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The blonde says, "I'll go first."
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet, purring like a kitten.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. "I've never seen a display like that in my life," he says. He then turns to the older man and asks, "Can you top that?"
"No problem," replies the older man. "But first you'll have to get that lion out of the way."
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
Funny stuff!!! -
CaptSquid
Topic author - I plan to be buried in my van
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
- Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
Problems With Upgrading
A few months ago, I upgraded from DrinkingMates 4.2 to Girlfriend 1.0 which I had been told for years wouldn't give me any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try to run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of Girlfriend 1.0 (i.e. 1.001 thru 1.999) proved no better!
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run the new Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does at least come bundled with FreeSexPlus and CleanHouse 2007.
Shortly after this upgrade however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and extremely costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge 2. Worse still, these latter products have no Help files, and I have to try and guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly requiring Adobe ShoeShop, HandBag Searcher and Hairstyle Express, all of which need to be reinstalled every other week.
Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes.
Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother-in-law, which can't be turned off.
I've recently been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but I've heard there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007 it tends to take total control of your IP address and then permanently locks you out while acquiring all of your shared resources.
A few months ago, I upgraded from DrinkingMates 4.2 to Girlfriend 1.0 which I had been told for years wouldn't give me any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try to run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of Girlfriend 1.0 (i.e. 1.001 thru 1.999) proved no better!
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run the new Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does at least come bundled with FreeSexPlus and CleanHouse 2007.
Shortly after this upgrade however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and extremely costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge 2. Worse still, these latter products have no Help files, and I have to try and guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly requiring Adobe ShoeShop, HandBag Searcher and Hairstyle Express, all of which need to be reinstalled every other week.
Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes.
Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother-in-law, which can't be turned off.
I've recently been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but I've heard there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007 it tends to take total control of your IP address and then permanently locks you out while acquiring all of your shared resources.
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
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CaptSquid
Topic author - I plan to be buried in my van
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
- Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
Hi-Tech Humor
Scott was struggling through the airport terminal with his obviously heavy suitcase when Bill Gates asked him the time.
Scott didn't recognize him, but pushed a button on his watch. The watch said out loud, "It's five fifty."
"Hey, cool watch!" said Bill.
Scott replied, "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this..." He displayed every time zone in the world, pressed a button and the watch announced, "The time is four fifty-one" in a Texas drawl. Another few pushes and the watch gave the time in Japan -- in Japanese!
Scott explained, "It includes a region-appropriate accent for each time zone."
Gates is impressed.
"That's not all," said Scott as he pushed a few more buttons and a tiny hi-res map of New York City appeared on its display. "The flashing dot shows our location via GPS," he explained. "View: recede ten," Scott ordered and the display changed to show eastern New York state.
"I need this watch!" said Gates.
"Oh, it's not yet ready for sale; I'm still working out some bugs," said its inventor. "Besides, I haven't shown you the FM radio receiver with digital tuner, the sonar device that measures distances underwater, the pager, the fax machine, the digital camera, the MP3 player with 300GB drive, video playback, Bluetooth, WiFi and WiMax..."
"How about $10,000?" said Gates.
"Oh, no. I've already spent more than on..."
"$20,000?"
"But it's not..."
"$50,000 -- in cash!" Bill opened his briefcase, which was filled with hundred dollar bills.
Scott thought, "I've only got about $5,000 into this and with 50K I can make another one that's better. I can be ready for merchandising in a year..."
Scott made his decision, "Okay, it's yours!"
He removed the watch and handed it to Gates, who happily walked away.
"Hey, wait up!" Scott called.
Gates turned around and said, "What?"
Scott pointed to the heavy suitcase he had been wrestling through the terminal. "Don't forget your battery!"
Scott was struggling through the airport terminal with his obviously heavy suitcase when Bill Gates asked him the time.
Scott didn't recognize him, but pushed a button on his watch. The watch said out loud, "It's five fifty."
"Hey, cool watch!" said Bill.
Scott replied, "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this..." He displayed every time zone in the world, pressed a button and the watch announced, "The time is four fifty-one" in a Texas drawl. Another few pushes and the watch gave the time in Japan -- in Japanese!
Scott explained, "It includes a region-appropriate accent for each time zone."
Gates is impressed.
"That's not all," said Scott as he pushed a few more buttons and a tiny hi-res map of New York City appeared on its display. "The flashing dot shows our location via GPS," he explained. "View: recede ten," Scott ordered and the display changed to show eastern New York state.
"I need this watch!" said Gates.
"Oh, it's not yet ready for sale; I'm still working out some bugs," said its inventor. "Besides, I haven't shown you the FM radio receiver with digital tuner, the sonar device that measures distances underwater, the pager, the fax machine, the digital camera, the MP3 player with 300GB drive, video playback, Bluetooth, WiFi and WiMax..."
"How about $10,000?" said Gates.
"Oh, no. I've already spent more than on..."
"$20,000?"
"But it's not..."
"$50,000 -- in cash!" Bill opened his briefcase, which was filled with hundred dollar bills.
Scott thought, "I've only got about $5,000 into this and with 50K I can make another one that's better. I can be ready for merchandising in a year..."
Scott made his decision, "Okay, it's yours!"
He removed the watch and handed it to Gates, who happily walked away.
"Hey, wait up!" Scott called.
Gates turned around and said, "What?"
Scott pointed to the heavy suitcase he had been wrestling through the terminal. "Don't forget your battery!"
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
-
CaptSquid
Topic author - I plan to be buried in my van
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
- Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
Hi-Tech Humor
Scott was struggling through the airport terminal with his obviously heavy suitcase when Bill Gates asked him the time.
Scott didn't recognize him, but pushed a button on his watch. The watch said out loud, "It's five fifty."
"Hey, cool watch!" said Bill.
Scott replied, "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this..." He displayed every time zone in the world, pressed a button and the watch announced, "The time is four fifty-one" in a Texas drawl. Another few pushes and the watch gave the time in Japan -- in Japanese!
Scott explained, "It includes a region-appropriate accent for each time zone."
Gates is impressed.
"That's not all," said Scott as he pushed a few more buttons and a tiny hi-res map of New York City appeared on its display. "The flashing dot shows our location via GPS," he explained. "View: recede ten," Scott ordered and the display changed to show eastern New York state.
"I need this watch!" said Gates.
"Oh, it's not yet ready for sale; I'm still working out some bugs," said its inventor. "Besides, I haven't shown you the FM radio receiver with digital tuner, the sonar device that measures distances underwater, the pager, the fax machine, the digital camera, the MP3 player with 300GB drive, video playback, Bluetooth, WiFi and WiMax..."
"How about $10,000?" said Gates.
"Oh, no. I've already spent more than on..."
"$20,000?"
"But it's not..."
"$50,000 -- in cash!" Bill opened his briefcase, which was filled with hundred dollar bills.
Scott thought, "I've only got about $5,000 into this and with 50K I can make another one that's better. I can be ready for merchandising in a year..."
Scott made his decision, "Okay, it's yours!"
He removed the watch and handed it to Gates, who happily walked away.
"Hey, wait up!" Scott called.
Gates turned around and said, "What?"
Scott pointed to the heavy suitcase he had been wrestling through the terminal. "Don't forget your battery!"
Scott was struggling through the airport terminal with his obviously heavy suitcase when Bill Gates asked him the time.
Scott didn't recognize him, but pushed a button on his watch. The watch said out loud, "It's five fifty."
"Hey, cool watch!" said Bill.
Scott replied, "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this..." He displayed every time zone in the world, pressed a button and the watch announced, "The time is four fifty-one" in a Texas drawl. Another few pushes and the watch gave the time in Japan -- in Japanese!
Scott explained, "It includes a region-appropriate accent for each time zone."
Gates is impressed.
"That's not all," said Scott as he pushed a few more buttons and a tiny hi-res map of New York City appeared on its display. "The flashing dot shows our location via GPS," he explained. "View: recede ten," Scott ordered and the display changed to show eastern New York state.
"I need this watch!" said Gates.
"Oh, it's not yet ready for sale; I'm still working out some bugs," said its inventor. "Besides, I haven't shown you the FM radio receiver with digital tuner, the sonar device that measures distances underwater, the pager, the fax machine, the digital camera, the MP3 player with 300GB drive, video playback, Bluetooth, WiFi and WiMax..."
"How about $10,000?" said Gates.
"Oh, no. I've already spent more than on..."
"$20,000?"
"But it's not..."
"$50,000 -- in cash!" Bill opened his briefcase, which was filled with hundred dollar bills.
Scott thought, "I've only got about $5,000 into this and with 50K I can make another one that's better. I can be ready for merchandising in a year..."
Scott made his decision, "Okay, it's yours!"
He removed the watch and handed it to Gates, who happily walked away.
"Hey, wait up!" Scott called.
Gates turned around and said, "What?"
Scott pointed to the heavy suitcase he had been wrestling through the terminal. "Don't forget your battery!"
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
An older couple had a son who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son has no career plans, so they decided to do a small test.
They took a $10 bill, a Bible and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, pretending they were not at home.
The test was this: If the son took the money, he would be a businessman, if he took the Bible, he would be a priest, but if he took the bottle of whiskey, he would be a drunk.
So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole, they saw their son arrive and read the note they had left him.
Then, he took the $10 bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it.
Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to check the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said, "Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!"
They took a $10 bill, a Bible and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, pretending they were not at home.
The test was this: If the son took the money, he would be a businessman, if he took the Bible, he would be a priest, but if he took the bottle of whiskey, he would be a drunk.
So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole, they saw their son arrive and read the note they had left him.
Then, he took the $10 bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it.
Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to check the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said, "Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!"
03 "Pewter" Astro AWD stock
early 90s Astro currently under the knife
early 90s Astro currently under the knife
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CaptSquid
Topic author - I plan to be buried in my van
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
- Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
On The Bus
As the radical feminist stood on the bus, a man beside her started to stand up.
"Another pig retaining the customs of patriarchal society by offering a poor defenseless woman his seat!", she thought and shoved him back down.
A few seconds later he rose again, but again she again refused to let him stand.
As he tried to stand for the third time, he meekly said, "Lady, would you please let me stand up? I'm already a mile past my stop!"
As the radical feminist stood on the bus, a man beside her started to stand up.
"Another pig retaining the customs of patriarchal society by offering a poor defenseless woman his seat!", she thought and shoved him back down.
A few seconds later he rose again, but again she again refused to let him stand.
As he tried to stand for the third time, he meekly said, "Lady, would you please let me stand up? I'm already a mile past my stop!"
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
-
CaptSquid
Topic author - I plan to be buried in my van
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
- Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
Colonoscopies
Editor's note: A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately males) while he was performing their colonoscopies.
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."
Editor's note: A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately males) while he was performing their colonoscopies.
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4
Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!