Quick! Someone hide me!

[CaptSquid]

Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

Attention: Beneficiary

This is the final warning you are going to receive from me do you get me? I hope you understand how many times this message has been sent to you.

We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment details below,then we would first send a letter to the MAYOR of the city where you reside and direct them to close your bank account until you have been jailed and all your properties will be confiscated by the FBI,CIA and other enforcement agency. We would also send a letter to the company/agency that you are working for so that they could get you fired until we are through with our investigations because a suspect is not suppose to be working for the government or any private organization.

Your ID which we have in our database have been sent to all the crimes agencies in America for them to inset you in their website as an internet fraudsters and to warn people from having any deals with you. This would have been solved all this while if you had gotten the CERTIFICATE ENDORSED AND STAMPED as you were instructed in the e-mail below. This is the federal bureau of investigation (FBI) am writing in response to the e-mail you sent to us and am using this medium to inform you that there is no more time left to waste because you have been given a mandate. As stated earlier to have the document endorsed, signed and stamped without failure and you must adhere to this directives to avoid you blaming yourself at last when we must have arrested and jailed you for life and all your properties will be seized and bank account will be confiscated too.

You failed to comply with our directives/instruction and that was the reason why we didn't hear from you, as our director has already been notified about you get the process completed yesterday and right now the WARRANT OF ARREST has been signed against you and it will be carried out in the next 48hours as strictly signed by the FBI director. We have investigated and found out that you didn't have any idea when the fraudulent deal was committed with your information's/identity and right now your ID is placed on our website as a wanted person, I believe you know that it will be a shame to you and your entire family because after then it will be announce in all the local channels that you are wanted by the FBI.

As a good Christian and a Honest man, I decided to see how i could be of help to you because i would not be happy to see you end up in jail and all your properties confiscated all because your information's was used to carry out a fraudulent transactions, i called the EFCC and they directed me to a private attorney who can help you get the process done and he stated that he will endorse and stamp the document at the sum of $90 usd only and i believe this process is cheaper for you.

You need to do every possible thing today and tomorrow to get this process done because our director has called to inform me that the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and once it has been approved, then the arrest will be carried out, and from our investigations we learnt that you were the person that forwarded your identity to one impostor/fraudsters in Nigeria when he had a deal with you about the transfer of some illegal funds into your bank account which is valued at the sum of $10,500,000.00 only.

I pleaded on your behalf so that this agency could give you till 6/30/2012 so that you could get this process done because i learnt that you were sent several e-mail without getting a response from you, Bear it in mind that this is the only way that i can be able to help you at this moment or you would have to face the law and its consequences once it has befall on you. You would make the payment through western union money transfer with the below details.

NAME: VINCE DURU
ADDRESS: ABUJA, NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION: BETTER
ANSWER: BEST
AMOUNT: $90
Senders Full Name======
Sender Full Address:====
Direct Phone Number:==================
MTCN:=========

Send the payment details to me as stated above and make sure that you didn't hesitate making the payment down to the agency by today so that they could have the certificate endorsed, signed and stamped immediately without any further delay. After all this process has been carried out, then we would have to proceed to the bank for the transfer of your compensation funds which is valued at the sum of $10.500,000.00 usd which was suppose to have been transferred to you all this while.

Note: All the crimes agencies have been contacted on this regards and we shall trace and arrest you if you disregard this instructions. You are given a grace today to make the payment for the document after which your failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally you will be appearing in court for act of terrorism,money laundering and drug trafficking charges, so be warned not to try any thing funny because you are been watched.

EXPECTING YOUR KIND ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION.

ROBERT S. MUELLER
FBI DIRECTOR

[doyoulikeithere]

Capt, Your still Alive?!?!

We all thought you got snuffed after the last emailed threats you got.....

So, Now your allowed to live, but you gotta send 90 bux to Nigeria, or the FBI will hunt you down, and the mayor of your town will freeze your bank assets?

That just sounds like you better do as your told then eh?!?! Lol Too Funny.
(even funnier that some fools actually believe, and do as thier told. Sheep.)

[Smiliesafari]

Wouldn't you like to meet this scumbag face to face?

[Kidhauler]

I love how for 90 bucks you will not be arrested and all the rest. It if you send the money they will transfer you ten and a half million.

You should write them back telling them your pissed off they didn't kill you last week. Say you were really counting on being dead and when the didn't kill you, you had to mow the lawn and paint the fence. Plus you went gambling and drinking and spent all your money and now you have to explain it to your wife.

Either that or say you are the mayor and they can get stuffed.

[CaptSquid]

Waitaminnit! Lemme see if I can get this straight...

First, some putz named Sir Slice Max warns me that he's a hit man and that I'm gonna get knocked off because someone I know and is near and dear to me wants me to swim with the fishes, push up daisies, take a dirt nap, ...

Now, someone with a return e-mail address from AOHell, claiming that he is the Director of the FBI, the top cop of the country, is threatening me with deprivation of liberty as well as confiscation of all of my property and being pursued by the CIA (a law enforcement agency?) and having my Mayor of a town he doesn't know freeze my meagre financial assets? And HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME?????

How can I come up with 90 simoleans if I'm dead? And can they take the baksheesh out the funds that are supposed to be mine in the first place? Maybe with that kind of moolah, I can have one whis-bang of a send-off with a serious wake. Perhaps for my final ride?

[astroturf]

Sounds like somebody might have visited one too many adult websites...

LOLz, Jim

PS At least that's how they got my email addy.

[WoodButcher]

Sounds like somebody might have visited one too many adult websites...

This was my first thought too but my gal gets that crap as well. Social networking sites and forwarded email are two culprits. The people you forward / send mail to might not strip the addresses before sending it on but worse than that what I see quite often are embedded signatures in the body of the note with contact info....
When I'm doing business the people I email have what they need to reach me, the reply button. period.
I'm on facebook because my gal insisted, engaged, she had to have a picture and a person to show off her ring, or whatever they do but I put up very little info and decline almost all the BS. I have been contacted by old friends so this is where I get a number and call.

When you get phone solicitations, emails and other similar bull just keep in mind, you asked for it.

[doyoulikeithere]

Sounds like somebody might have visited one too many adult websites...

This was my first thought too but my gal gets that crap as well.

Oh come on woodbutcher, you know she's doing the porn surf when yur not lookin,,,, <insert "sarcastic' emoticon here>

[WoodButcher]