Page 1 of 1

The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:52 am
by skippy
The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General.

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races.

North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, the South has craw fish.

The North has the rust belt ; the South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store... . do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper!

Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

:muhaha: :muhaha: :muhaha: :muhaha: :muhaha: :muhaha: :muhaha:

Re: The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:42 pm
by Rebel
This is not useless knowledge Skippy,,this is the way it is,,always has been, always will be. One I didn't see is,,when you stop off at a friends house for a visit and it's time to leave,,you always say "come on, go with us" the US is used in singular and plural. For you northerners,,this doesn't really mean that everyone in the house gets up and leaves with the guest.

Funny stuff Skippy and true by the way.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store
Very often the case.

Re: The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:02 pm
by 89AstroDan
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't leave me hanging here! What do I do with it? I'se gots to know.

Re: The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:15 pm
by Rebel
You always pour the left over bacon grease in a Mason jar that has a spoon dropped in it to absorb the heat which keeps the jar from breaking.
You keep the grease for later use in cooking eggs, string beans or anything else you're cooking. The bacon grease adds a smoked taste and is always saved and used down south.
The grease will cool and turn white. When ready to use later, just dip out a spoonfull and sling it in a frying pan and get with it.

Re: The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:21 pm
by Smiliesafari
Putit in evry thang needs cookin. And a big ol hunk of ham in them collards..................... whoweeeee. \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/

Re: The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:10 pm
by T.Low
Not being one to stir up trouble, but isn't Schenectady New York actually north of the Mason Dixon line? Just asking...

Re: The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:46 pm
by HPbyStan
the South is a nice place to visit BUT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Re: The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:49 pm
by astronut74
HPbyStan wrote:the South is a nice place to visit BUT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

... It's a GREAT place to live!

And that's the proper way to finish that statement!! :D :muhaha:

Re: The difference between the North & south

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:50 pm
by T.Low
I'd take the Marshall Tucker Band or Lynnard Skynnard over Neil Young anyday.